Affected
by rese
Summary: Change makes waves and Jo is caught in the rip.
1. Feelings Bring Change

**Affected**

By rese

Summary: Change makes waves and Jo is caught in the rip.

Disclaimer: Louisa M. Alcott owns the Little Women jazz.

…

They ushered themselves into the cold front room still smiling at Mr. Brooke's surprising joke. Laurie bent to brush the snow off Jo's coat while she gently removed everyone's scarves.

"What a night! Wasn't Amy just perfect on the piano?" Jo gushed when she saw Laurie 'making those eyes'. He smiled to himself and took off his hat and in a change of gravity winked at Jo with brotherly affection for the topic. "Certainly she was, but nobody could think anything less of our littlest." And with that paternal tone he clutched his chest "surely she won't be a growin' up and leavin' will she?" he mimicked Jo's question from earlier that evening. Jo blushed and looked down – anywhere but at that knowing face. "Well you know I hate to see a family all 'broked up'."

Laurie's face turned instantly serious and just as quickly flicked back when Jo looked up, "Thank you for visiting us this weekend Teddy, Amy would've been desolate without you and it always does Marmee's heart good to hear and see you out of trouble." Laurie laughed at that last addition and waved over to the motherly soul who had finally entered the house after helping her husband up the three small steps that prevented any such quick movements on his own behalf. Mrs. March smiled back at the boy who was becoming more and more a man, at least in terms of height.

"But what about my girl? Didn't she miss her boy?" Laurie asked returning to their conversation once Jo had removed the new-comers' winter cover-ups. She grinned at him, "For sure!" and patted his jacket collar which had somehow turned up. If Jo had met the tall boy's gaze she would've had a tough time trying to look away, but as it was she safely bent to undo her laces, catching her mother's warning look as the rest of the family moved to the sitting room to greet Beth.

Once finished with her boots she turned to find Laurie still waiting patiently for her. Jo raised her brow and Laurie unwisely remained pensive, an expression he had determined to hide from her previously in fear of her evasive temper. "Jo –" he was stopped as she rushed pass him mumbling about Beth and the warm fireplace.

"I'll have my say yet Jo March. You can't escape what fate has decided." He spoke softly after she entered the crowded room. Laurie had learnt a great deal of patience over his twenty or so years and was quite willing to put it to full use when it came to the particular subject of Josephine March.

…

Jo was quite happy to have Amy's admirers gone. Laurie had spent too much of his time plaguing her and ignoring the rest of the family and from her youngest sister's look, Jo knew he'd been missed.

She lay in her bed and shut her eyes at the memory of his looks that evening; he was becoming far too attentive. Amy clearly reveled in his praise and small flirts and Jo wished he would focus this newer trick of his onto her sister. Then they could all be happy, for she was becoming more and more certain that she was hurting his feelings by ignoring him. But it was all for the best.

Yes, Jo reassured herself, all for the best.

…

"I'm not ready." Jo called over her shoulder, struggling to do the apron ties. Why they didn't make bows for the front where she could see them, Jo didn't know. Luckily two large hands with long, warm fingers took the strings from Jo's and tied a nice, secure bow for her.

"Thank you," she cringed, knowing as she turned she'd be facing Laurie. His helpfulness and complete warmth was _not_ helping her firm and decided position at all. Jo had to stop his silliness before it was beyond her own sudden fluttering heart.

He was so much closer than she expected and Jo assured herself that her quickening heart was only so due to his warm breath. Yes, it was cold and she just needed some heat. But when Jo looked up into Laurie's frightfully steady gaze she was abruptly too warm.

"Are you hot or cold?" Jo's unexpected question made him blink and he gave a puzzled look. "Uh," he began but as recently normal, Jo had breezed by without two proper words of apology and was out in the snow without his answer.

She determined it was too hot.

…

"Jo. Jo!" Laurie caught her arm and anchored his friend to his side. "Didn't you hear me?" she looked about nervously and answered negatively, praying that he'd stop touching her quickly for she was loosing feeling fast. Maybe he was holding too tightly.

Laurie steered her into an empty sitting room and discreetly made certain they would be quite alone. He fiddled with his gloves, smiling at the knowledge that Jo must've been just as uncomfortable in her party clothes. "Jo, I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh no," she tried to stop him, her distress evident. He looked at her queerly for a bit before kneeling by her chair. "Here it comes," she thought as his face hovered by hers. Laurie was going to say something regrettable and she would be stuck playing the horrid part. Oh why did he have to do it now, in a stranger's house?

"It won't take a moment. Jo dear," his hands rested on hers, "would you mind if I seriously… ah," he cleared his throat, uncomfortable with his words. "Would it be horrible of me move to New York?"


	2. News Brings Change

"What?" Jo leaned back in shock. Laurie stood, wishing he'd had more time to think before approaching the topic with her.

"I mean, I won't be going till after college. And I did hope to go to Europe, but Grandfather, he says the company is interested in starting a proper office in New York and wants me to help." Laurie's face coloured as he explained the plan to Jo who remained silent, staring at the ground.

"That's… that's wonderful Laurie," she said quietly when he stopped to judge her reaction. He reckoned her flush to be in response to his, but Jo was so embarrassed by her misleading thoughts that she became redder and redder the more he watched her.

"You don't mind then?" Jo's lowered eyes missed his disappointment and she nodded over-enthusiastically.

"Yes. No, I mean no not at all. I mean, Teddy I'm terrifically proud of you." Jo surprised them both by hugging him, incredibly tight until she felt his own arms firmly around her. She stepped back and coughed into her hand, looking about awkwardly.

Things were going to change so much more and Jo couldn't help the small lurch of her heart at the thought. So he didn't care for her in that particular way! Convincing her that she was happy about it was harder than Jo expected but it was achievable; for the little stab in her chest was just excitement for Laurie's happy prospects.

Yes, things were fine.

…

Laurie found Jo behind the river bush the next day sobbing quietly and he fell beside her, knowing he was the reason for it. "Jo, I'm sorry." She turned when his hand fell on her shoulder and tried to smile, but his dear face was so close and it just reminded her how far away it would eventually be.

Jo's head ducked and she allowed her friend to hold her, just for a short while. "You shouldn't have told me so early. Now I'm a blubbering mess, what sort of dignified behaviour is this for a fellow hey?" Her hand found his heart and Jo felt the odd rhythm beneath her palm.

"I'm just glad to know you care! You wouldn't want your boy to go away thinking you a heartless soul who couldn't wait to be rid of him, would you?" He was rubbing her back and Jo only half-heard his words, too busy wishing things could just stay as they were.

"Oh, if I did it would be your own fault though. Springing on such news that you knew I'd hate and then wait for me to…" But Jo was overtaken by emotion again before she could finish.

"I thought you only cried if 'under some great affliction'?" Laurie teased about her normal excuse, hoping to pull her out of the unusual display of tears. Jo's head finally lifted and he regretted seeing her look, she was a raw, reddened creature and he felt horrible for being the cause.

"I am hurting" Jo wanted to say, but the words were lost in her thick throat so she thumped his chest instead pulling herself up. He would just crow about it later and Jo would have to pretend it never happened.

"I'll be fine. And you, you'll finish college and we'll all sing your praises till you _have_ to be sent away for fear of being spoilt." After the appropriate bashful smile, Laurie led her back up to the house feeling his old hope return. She might just join him after all if he asked.

"There," Jo thought in the silence. "I can joke it off and we'll be good friends again, carrying on as usual. Until he has to leave."

…

"Oh Laurie, that's terrific! How excellent!" Amy clapped her hands together as Laurie hugged an excited Beth who promised to tell Meg as soon as she saw her, despite Laurie's insistence that Brooke would've already told his wife. The two March girls were as proud as expected and there were no more tears spilt on hearing the news of the future loss of his company that Laurie knew about. Indeed Jo smiled brighter and beamed prouder, determined to 'sing his praises' long before he finished earning them.

"Isn't it just? He'll be so lucky surrounded by all those important sorts of men, earning his way proper in the world." The girls' eyes clouded with Jo's at her idealistic picture of the male working-class, wishing she could somehow be a part of it.

"Don't worry Jo," Laurie patted her arm upon seeing the familiar look of disappointment. "You'll be making your own way with your great novels, changing the very fabric of society with poignant tragedies and emotional dramas. Perhaps even with a bit of romance?" his eyebrows lifted suggestively with the quiet addition for her benefit and Jo poked him in the ribs in thanks.

Jo lowered her own voice as they moved upstairs, "I'll have you know my romances aren't a jot soppy and they can hold themselves to the gore and blood of the revenges any day." They reached the top of the stairs and Jo glanced back to see Laurie deep in thought. "Were you even listening Teddy?" He looked up at the girl who was rapidly becoming a woman and he sighed at her folded arms. Five years and Jo still didn't know he never missed a word of hers.

"Yes, of course. I was just thinking you mistook my meaning." Laurie touched her arm, moving to take her hand. Jo's face went red and her expression harsh, predictably angry with his insinuation about romance. She was ready to push his seriousness away when Amy called out to them both at the bottom of the stairs, "Jo, Laurie won't be here much longer. You must share him with the rest of us! We haven't had enough silly talk this visit and he always has such fun news." She smiled at the couple who had been whispering, wondering why her sister had such exclusive rights to Laurie. He was their friend too.

"You can have him! I've had enough of his silly talk," and Jo stomped off to her room, stopping before she entered to glare back. But Laurie had already turned away, chatting to Amy who'd run up to take his arm. Jo was immediately sorry to leave in such anger and she resolved to go be nice to him before he left, although not before she clamped the pounding of her chest that started when he had held her hand.


	3. Admission Brings Change

"Jo, do you think Laurie will miss us?"

Jo March was startled out of her thoughts by her youngest sister's question. She'd been wondering the very same thing all week, uninterrupted by the subject himself as Laurie had returned to college ready to start the new semester.

"Oh, yes certainly Amy." She patted the girl's arm as she looked over at Beth who seemed equally interested in the answer. Both understood that Jo knew him best and if he'd declared any reluctance to move from their friendly arms, she would know. "Laurie's hardly the young man we all love if he won't."

Amy sat beside her sister, struggling with her next question. "If it's not too impertinent of me, I mean, you don't have to answer – I would understand, but…" Amy looked away, "do you love Laurie, Jo?" she wanted to ask but finding herself not so bold she settled with, "will you miss him?"

Jo laughed at her sister, "You ninny! Why wouldn't I? He's the closest friend I have aside from you dear girls!" she laughed some more at Amy's silly question before the girl stood up, moving to leave. She was sure Jo didn't know that she was too close to Laurie to see his real feelings and it would end in tears from one or both. "Her loss" Amy thought bitterly as her elder sister continued to chuckle at her 'absurdity'.

The room quieted comfortably with Jo at Amy's exit and she moved over to Beth, wrapping an arm about her. Beth looked up into her taller sister's face and smiled gently, Jo took all the care in the world for her and she loved having the girl's attention. It took a great deal for Jo to stay still.

A few more silent moments passed by until Beth laid a hand on Jo's, a peaceful look on her sweet face as she asked a question only Beth could be permitted, "Jo, do you love him?" Her sister's face was unreadable for a moment, frozen at the unexpected query before she smiled, "Why who do you mean?"

Patient Beth clarified, "Laurie of course. But you knew that."

Jo's head ducked and she looked away quickly, "Of course I don't _love_ him," she laughed awkwardly, "not that way! What would make you think such a thing?" Finding no answer Jo's head turned back to her sister determined to convince Beth and herself, "We're dear friends but I could hardly think of him as anything more."

"As you said before."

"As I said before." Jo nodded.

Beth smiled knowingly. Jo wasn't ready for Laurie's clearly deepening feelings and Beth couldn't be certain if it was a bad thing. If he was really going so far away she didn't want Jo hurt even more terribly as she surely would be if she was in love with him. But Beth had such hopes for her sister's happiness and a large part of that coincided with her dreams for the Laurence Boy.

"Oh Jo, such troubles!" She sighed heavily and rested in her sister's embrace. Jo gave a worried look to the dark head that lay near her own, "is it the pain again dear?" Beth's weakness was a plague upon Jo's mind and in her preoccupation with Laurie's news and her own oddness; Jo had almost tricked her mind off Beth's health.

"No, no; I'm fine," Beth mumbled into her shoulder but she hugged Jo a bit tighter. It would all work out and everyone would be happy. Laurie would find his courage and Jo would find her heart and Beth, she would find her strength and would dance at their wedding.

…

Jo stared at the ceiling, her thoughts running wild with the desperation for sleep. Laurie hadn't disappeared from her mind since his leaving as he'd previously done and Jo found herself constantly missing his presence. More than she usually did.

It was maddening and all Jo wanted was for her to fall asleep and forget him for a while. He was only going to leave her anyway! She was only going to miss him more.

Jo rolled over to watch her sleeping sister and wondered what she dreamed about. Probably lovely home with her beautiful family and not some confounded youth who persisted in teasing her and saying he cared when he was going to go away.

But why did she care so much? Jo turned back to the roof, watching the shadows dance in time with the leaves that tapped the house. Maybe she did care the way Beth said. But no, that was foolish and hardly acceptable to her fancy ideals and dreams. Laurie wouldn't fit in her castle of books, he would read a lot but he'd never take her seriously and yet… with all those long looks he'd given of late and the deep sighs he'd let go…

"Maybe I do love him," Jo whispered to the shade in realisation. And maybe he cared for her. But it was all silliness to Jo's tired head and she closed her eyes. If only she could stop imagining the pillow into a person, Jo might've believed that she was wrong and she had to be alone.

The silent smile unseen from Beth confirmed Jo's soft words and hopeful thoughts that begun to unleash as dreams took hold.


	4. Declarations Bring Change

She swallowed hard and looked into those dark, black eyes that seemed to hold the promise for a forever Jo desperately wanted. The eyes blinked and Jo both feared and prayed simultaneously that the spell would break with the stare, but when he moved closer she realized her feelings weren't just about to leave. Not for his dry eyes or her terrified heart.

His breath was warm on her smaller face and she wondered if he could smell the coffee on hers.

"Laurie," she warned as he came flush against her, causing an insane redness to cover her neck and face. He was too close for her rational mind to comprehend and thankfully her body quickly took control. Jo's arms lifted as his came around, pinning her to him and she smiled in return.

"Jo, would you?"

It felt like time was slowing with every blink, every breath and Jo held his precious face, "Yes Teddy, I do care."

…

Jo sat up abruptly from the cold table, shocked that she'd fallen asleep and dreamt about _that_. She groaned at the stiffness in her neck and shoulders and squinted the sleep out of her eyes, prepared to glare at the sun for being so uncomfortably bright.

"Jo! Jo?" Amy's calls from below chased away all thoughts of another nap and Jo got up to answer her.

"Yes Amy, what is it?" Jo's heavy steps down the stairs made Amy frown a bit before she remembered her news. She waited for Jo to reach her before taking her arms and shaking them, "Laurie's here!"

"What?" Jo blinked. "Already? Why so soon?" But Amy was still spinning about with pleasure laughing with slight giddiness about her morning's occurrences. "Whatever's the matter with you?"

The blonde just smiled secretively before pushing her sister into her bedroom. "Oh, you'll never guess who Laurie brought with him!" Jo watched her sister fold and unfold her hands over and over, "No, I daresay I wouldn't." Amy's face must've tired from smiling yet still she grinned at Jo, a softness developing in her expression as she spoke, "Fred Vaughn."

Jo rolled her eyes before turning about to leave the room, "Now there'll be no end of your silliness with two boys to fawn over" she mumbled with crossed arms. Amy hurried after her, "oh but they're both so lovely and Marmee doesn't mind, she knows it's all in good fun."

"It's shameful Amy and I expect Marmee doesn't disapprove only because it's impossible to stop you from carrying on in such a way," said Jo who hated flirting and compliments unless performed by heroes and heroines. Unfortunately for her, they flowed freely when Laurie and his friends were entertained at Orchard House by a gracious Amy.

"You only say that because you can't join in." Amy defended. They were in the front hall now and Amy had only just finished speaking before Jo had spun about ready to leave in fear of her temper rising when she bumped into something large. That something spoke, "And thank heavens for that! We need some sensibility, hey Jo?

Jo looked up, an odd blush creeping up her neck. "Teddy!" Laurie smiled down at her and Jo felt the hands that caught her waist tighten. She stepped back instantly, and fiddled with her hair, looking down at the ground, anywhere but at him.

"Jo!" said Laurie in the same surprised tone she used, wondering at her strange behaviour. "Didn't see you there fellow," he joked and Jo finally smiled, taking his offered arm as the group moved into the sitting room.

…

"I say, it's so good to be home." Laurie was lying on his back and Jo sat by him on the grass.

"You haven't been home yet, how should you know?" Jo said, Mr. Laurence had arrived earlier for lunch and was pleasantly surprised to find his grandson entertaining the March girls with another college anecdote.

Laurie stared up at her and Jo felt hot again. His look felt invasive and searching but for once Jo didn't move away, holding his gaze instead. She was however unable to keep it up when he smiled winningly at her action and rolled over, closer to her.

"Jo," Laurie began in a serious voice and she clamped down the feeling to run away. He was going to say things he hadn't had the chance to before and she was going to let him! Jo felt sick at the thought. How could she be torn so in two about her boy!?

"Yes?" she let him take her hand. Jo felt her throat go dry and she hoped whatever would happen, would happen quickly.

"Uh," Laurie hadn't gotten this far before and it was more daunting than he'd assumed for Jo kept switching between and expectant look and a fearful one. It had to be a good sign if she hadn't bolted already. Surely! "Can I ask you something?"

Jo sternly told herself to calm down as her heart leapt with his words. The last time he'd begun like that she had been thoroughly mistaken with the subject and Jo couldn't help but shake her head at that private embarrassment. She cleared her throat, "For sure." The enthusiasm she meant to include had disappeared and instead there was a confounded waver in her voice.

"Do you think – do you –" Laurie shut his eyes, why couldn't he just say it? "Jo, do you think of me as a friend?" Jo gave him a puzzled look, and Laurie was sorry for his wording.

"You goose! Of course I do," she laughed (in relief) and swatted his head with her hand, enjoying the small smile it provoked from him. "You're my dearest friend, why would I think of you as anything else?" Jo saw him glance quickly down Jo and she realized she hadn't meant it _that_ way. She did think of him as something else, and it was more than she was able to say. And now it looked like he wasn't going to say it for her.

"Oh, good." It didn't sound good according to Laurie's tone and they both flinched as they looked away. "Oh my stupid mouth!" Jo thought, angry with herself that she was hurting rather than pleasing him.

"No, I don't mean –" Jo tried to rectify her meaning when her throat closed up at his look. There was such hope in his eyes that Jo wondered how she ever thought he _didn't_ care for her. And how did she ever _not_ care? "Teddy dearest, I – I care." It was a lame finish but it was all that was necessary and needed for Laurie launched himself at her and Jo was hugged like never before.

…

A few moments were left for embracing and one or two stolen pecks before Laurie had the presence of mind to speak. "Oh Jo! You don't know what it is for me to know – to have – you've made me the happiest fellow. I've loved you for so long and now –" but he was too choked up to finish so he lowered his lips to hers and Jo was kissed properly for the first time.

The two were wrapped entirely around each other, exploring and learning incredibly fast in that one kiss until they regrettably had to breathe. Jo's brown face had darkened and Laurie watched her evade his gaze. She was the most beautiful thing he'd seen, experienced and loved.

"I love you, Jo."


	5. Change is Best

She held his hand as they walked back to the house and neither could stop the brilliant smiles on their faces. Laurie could hardly believe how wonderful everything had turned out and Jo was simply relieved to have it all out and done with.

"Oh!" Jo stopped suddenly and Laurie was pulled along with her movement. "You're still going to leave!" Laurie lowered his hands to her waist, thinking she meant he was going next door in a bit.

"Well yes, but that's never been a problem before. Grandfather's waited long enough for tardy me to visit him don't you think?" But Jo wasn't appeased and he looked at her questioningly.

"New York, Teddy. New York," she clarified. Laurie understood and he let go when she pushed him away upset. In all the excitement, in all the joy, he'd forgotten! Laurie turned to stare at his house before it hit him how easy it would be to rectify the situation.

"I can fix that Jo." She didn't look happy with that answer. "I'll speak to Grandfather, don't worry." Laurie took her hand again and squeezed it gently, noting pleasantly how she seemed to lean in when he moved closer. "I'm not about to go anywhere."

…

Jo knew she was faced with two options: marry and move to New York, or marry and move overseas. Both were too far away from home to her liking but Laurie seemed intent on working for Mr. Laurence and for that, Jo couldn't disapprove.

In fact, there was much lack of disapproval in all parts of their prospective future for Jo found that everyone was only too ready to approve. Marmee had only asked her if she was sure and with one look and one word, all her fears about incompatibility and impetuous arguing were forgotten.

Jo was in love with the boy everybody knew loved her. It had taken her some time, but it didn't take much for Jo to realize how she really felt for her friend and Laurie was easily the most thankful for the development.

"Hullo Jo, dear!" The giant fellow stepped through the door, bending slightly to kiss Jo on the cheek albeit barely missing her mouth. She smiled up at him and for a few moments they merely grinned at each other, the giddy happiness of yesterday not yet worn off.

Hannah finally broke the spell when she came to see where the 'freezin draf" was coming from. Laurie apologized immediately, closing the door and accepting the lady's thanks and knowing look. She remembered a time like that!

"So?" Jo prompted impatiently, latching onto his woolen arm and leaning into his peculiar warmth as they moved into a decent room "Is it settled?"

Laurie turned to her and placed his hands over hers, "Yes Jo, it's settled." Then he sat down without another word of elaboration, stretching his long limbs which stiffened terribly at that particular time of the year.

Jo collapsed onto the sofa next to him, catching onto his stalling as a way of stirring and she was determined not to ask again. Yet, as the moments passed and he held an arm out for her she gave in and boxed him lightly for the words she wanted to hear.

"Alright, alright!" Laurie cried as he caught her fist in his hands, finding her melt quicker than ever before. "Would you like to see Paris, Jo?"

She looked up suddenly from her bee-line to his relaxed embrace; it was marry and move overseas then! "You know I would!" Jo finally reached about him.

"Well then, we'll have to plan a holiday for it within the year." His head leant against hers but Jo pushed him away for his tricky way of telling her; it was marry and move to New York! At least that would be closer.

"Oh I see." Jo's lips pulled into a smile, "authoresses are well respected in New York aren't they Teddy?" Laurie leaned back, appearing to think about it before he answered, "better than in other places I should think, but Jo! Don't you want to live in Concord like I planned?"

Jo pushed him away properly this time in her shock and she stood, the wildness firing her grey eyes dark. "Theodore Laurence, you sneak! Why didn't you just _say_ so?" Laurie laughed at her look, feeling another small victory and he pulled her hands quickly, sending Jo off-balance and onto the sofa again.

"Because, Jo," he tried to stop smiling so he could speak without tightness, "I wouldn't have been able to get you all spitting fire to do this!" Laurie kissed her roughly, and Jo struggled at first, the surprise of his suddenness making her fight instinctively. Quickly, Jo's body recognized a losing argument and she found herself kissing him back with as much fierceness. 

Her sharp tongue didn't agree though when they paused for breath (and dear me propriety's sake), "Oh, I doubt that very much Laurie. You'll be teasing and surprising me till the day I drop dead, you wicked boy. But you know it's one thing I wouldn't want to change, not for all my heart, Teddy dear."


End file.
